Why Befriend the Nervous System
Some years ago when I was living in Germany and pursuing my corporate career with two young children, I felt like I was living a healthy lifestyle.
I was exercising on a regular basis – going for runs in a beautiful forest before work, I was following a healthy diet and more or less eating according to the latest health guidelines, I was socially active – just the right amount to not overload my introvert self…
Yet, I felt sick all the time. Not severely sick, more annoyingly sick with various cold-like symptoms.
How could this be, despite my seemingly healthy lifestyle? It wasn’t until I studied Deb Dana’s* and Stephen Porges’** work about the autonomic nervous system, that I understood what was going on in my body.
What is the autonomic nervous system?
Our autonomic nervous system is the basis of how we experience the world. It’s a key part of our innate resilience system, and we need to become better friends with it…
Let me explain how this aspect of the nervous system does its job. Every time we meet somebody or enter a situation, our nervous system immediately looks for signs of safety and signs of danger. It does it within a fraction of a second and has evolved to do that to keep us safe.
It is quite an easy equation. If the nervous system picks up more cues of danger, the body will allocate resources towards a “sympathetic” response. That doesn’t refer to being warm and fuzzy! It means a stressed state where we’re primed either to fight or to freeze. On the other hand if there are more cues of safety, our system puts us into a relaxed and connected state.
This process is called neuroception and happens instantly and automatically. This means it is unconscious and we cannot control it. It is our biology doing this, but we have to live with the consequences. It is evolutionary competence.
“The important part of neuroception is that we are usually not aware of the cues, but we are always aware of our bodily responses.”
“Every time we meet somebody or enter a situation, our nervous system immediately looks for signs of safety and signs of danger. It has evolved to do that to keep us safe.”
The sabre-toothed tiger
The system evolved thousands of years ago when being chased by a sabre-toothed tiger was a possibility. Nowadays, a ‘dangerous situation’ could be a deadline at work we are struggling to meet, a difficult conversation with our boss or our partner, experiencing health issues, watching our children being bullied, endless to-do lists. You get the idea.
While it is not problematic for the body to experience stress – a regulated nervous system bounces with ease between the relaxed, connected state and the stressed state – it becomes tricky when we stay in that stressed state for long periods of time, even low-level background stress.
That starts to wear our bodies down and compromise our health... And this is exactly what happened to me in Germany.
Although I was living a seemingly healthy lifestyle, I felt a lot of stress from work, parenting young children, endless to-do-lists.
There are a lot of things happening in the body when we are in a stressed state and one of them is that our immune system is slowing down its optional function because our autonomic nervous system is sending resources elsewhere to fight that ‘sabre-toothed tiger’ in front of us.
While this makes sense and is OK for a short period of time, the autonomic nervous system ‘does not care’ if you get cancer in three months’ time or have a persistent cold, because it is focused on the imminent threat that might kill you now.
A down-regulated immune system is not so helpful in the long run.
“It becomes tricky when we stay in that stressed state for long periods of time, even low-level background stress.”
The first step to befriending our nervous system
Our first step to befriending our nervous system is to realise when we are leaving the relaxed state. Some of the early warning signs:
We constantly perceive things to be negative, challenging or overwhelming.
We find that we are holding unnecessary muscular tension such as a clenched jaw or tight shoulders.
Our focus becomes narrow and we over-think situations.
We tend to catastrophise and to always be on the defensive.
Our next step is to identify which tools may work for us.
Key tools
There are some key tools that can help bring us back to a connected and relaxed state. Research tells us that these include:
breathing techniques
movement, if you feel safe to move
gratitude
self-compassion
meditation
the calming presence of another regulated nervous system
Sounds familiar? Yes, most of these elements (if not all) are being cultivated in a yoga practice.
This is why in my classes, I usually incorporate most of these elements so that your nervous system can take in lots of cues of safety and you can return to a state of health, growth and restoration where you feel calm and connected.
“The whole purpose of a yoga posture is to establish a safe home base and free us up to be guided by sensation and to allow this to unfold.”
Over to you
Spending as much of our lives in a relaxed and connected state is not optional – it is actually crucial for us to be happy, healthy individuals where our bodies allow bodily functions to operate optimally, to positively influence our entire human experience.
If you have any questions please leave a comment below and if you’re interested in learning more about befriending your autonomic nervous system, keep an eye out for my next workshop or retreat.
And in case you are interested, I have not been sick a lot since we moved to New Zealand ten years ago. No doubt it’s in part because it’s a lovely country to live in, but also I’m sure it’s because I experience less stress and practice more yoga!
References
* Clinician, Consultant, Lecturer, Coordinator of the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute
** Author of the Polyvagal Theory, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of North Carolina
